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Zachary's Birth Story
Pregnancy Loss
Third Times the Charm
Vivian's Birth Story





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October 24, 2013

Three weekends ago Tyler, Viv and I had a wonderful weekend getaway with some friends. We went to Lake Chelan with the Viv and the Rivs crew. We all got in Friday evening and relaxed together over home-cooked dinner.

The whole weekend was wonderfully paced by the babies - lazy mornings waiting for naps before getting the day started and going out and about to explore followed by relaxing nights sharing a bottle or two (or three…) of wine while in the hot tub.

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This is the best I got with the kiddos in the hot tub.
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After hours adults only hot tub time!
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I never get cuddles but someone was
soooo very sleepy!

Of course, during the day the hot tub was turned down so the babies could splish splash. It was so fun seeing them really play together both in and out of the hot tub.

During our weekend we had a lovely lunch and tasting outside at Vin du Lac Winery, did a tasting at Lake Chelan Winery followed by sharing a bottle outside while the babies ate some snacks. We walked around and had lunch at downtown Manson which turned out to be rather shut up since it was Monday by the time we got around to that.

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My beautiful family
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The breathtaking view from our
Lake Chelan house.

The majority of our time was spent soaking up the beautiful view from the house and enjoying the great company. This was our third big getaway besides a few awesome camping trips with these friends (Orcas Island at the end of March and Seabrook in June) and we all see many more in our future. It is just so fun to watch our kiddos grow together and looking back at the pictures from our other trips it is amazing to see just how much they have grown and learned!

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I thought this picture would be adorable
with the beautiful flowers matching Vivian’s
outfit. She however was not impressed with
another photoshoot.

It makes me giggle uncontrollably to see how round the babies all were and it is hard to believe at our first trip together we were so excited when the babies accidentally locked hands while laying next to each other. Then at Seabrook they could sit up and stare at each other and it was so fun to see them want to know one another. This time, they could crawl or scoot over to each other and share/steal toys and really interact!

My heart swells with the joy that I have knowing how good of pals they will become and all the fun they will get to experience together!

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Our group at a park along Lake Chelan

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October 18, 2013
My kid thinks she is a woodchuck…

My kid thinks she is a woodchuck…

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October 17, 2013

First steps!!!!!!!

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October 15, 2013
Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. At 7pm local time all across the globe parents of angel babies light a candle in remembrance. This is called the “Wave of Light.”
I decided to take Viv to Zachary’s bench to light our candle even though she was pretty sleepy. I did a brisk jog to the playground to make it just in time.
It got a lot darker than I expected so soon but it was nice. I was lucky enough to have someone who was just leaving the park snap the only photo of Vivian and me before my phone died. It was nice to sit in the darkness and watch Viv climb the bench. She looked so cute in the candlelight touching Zachary’s plaque.
Last year for my first Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day (and month) I participated in Project Heal. This year, I’ve gotten to do so much more with PS Walk to Remember planning and various other things.
One thing for sure, whether I do special activities or not, I will never forget my baby boy.

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. At 7pm local time all across the globe parents of angel babies light a candle in remembrance. This is called the “Wave of Light.”

I decided to take Viv to Zachary’s bench to light our candle even though she was pretty sleepy. I did a brisk jog to the playground to make it just in time.

It got a lot darker than I expected so soon but it was nice. I was lucky enough to have someone who was just leaving the park snap the only photo of Vivian and me before my phone died. It was nice to sit in the darkness and watch Viv climb the bench. She looked so cute in the candlelight touching Zachary’s plaque.

Last year for my first Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day (and month) I participated in Project Heal. This year, I’ve gotten to do so much more with PS Walk to Remember planning and various other things.

One thing for sure, whether I do special activities or not, I will never forget my baby boy.

Video

October 15, 2013

Yesterday was Vivian’s first time solo down a slide. Such a big girl!

October 13, 2013

Today I went to Parent Support of Puget Sound’s Walk to Remember. This was my second year in attendance and the 12th annual walk. This year was different though for many reasons.

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Me and my girl ready to walk for Zachary!

Last year, Zachary’s place in my heart was still a raw hole. This year, that hole has healed a lot - still ever present but much less raw.

Last year, I was lost and confused wandering to a walk I didn’t want to be a part of because of what it meant. This year I have accepted that I am part of this “club” which has formed an amazing community of support.

Last year, Viv was still just a thought. Sure I was seven months (30 weeks) pregnant but I still knew things could go tragically wrong. This year Vivian came with me in the flesh and proudly wore her “I walk for Zachary" shirt with me.

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Viv was a tad tired and cold but she proudly
(and very cutely) wore her PS shirt with
Zachary’s name on it!

Last year, I was an attendee. This year I was an organizer, I was the president of the organization! Last year I couldn’t even hear the announcements but this year I was making them! (and I tried to make sure everyone could hear me.)

It was a great experience! Vivian was too interested in all that was going on so she couldn’t take time to sleep. When she wasn’t in the stroller trying to rest, she was passed around to anxious arms that needed to hold hope - physical and true hope.

While Viv and I went to the walk, we let Tyler sleep in and do some errands. Next year, I think he will be joining us so that we can walk as a family to honor Zachary the month before his birthday.

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The fall colors were amazing at the park!
October 11, 2013
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How is this possible?! My baby is ten months old… double digits!!! We are only two months away from Vivian’s birthday. Yikes!

In the last month Viv has gotten three more teeth, all on top. The only one missing to even out her smile is her front left so she appropriately for the month looks a bit like a jack-o-lantern.

Vivian isn’t walking on her own yet but definitely likes to push a walker or hold fingers for mental stability since she could probably do it on her own if she tried.

Vivian loves her dog and cat and every morning tries to give them big snuggles by diving her head into their fluffy bellies until they run away. She usually grabs fists-full of fur at the same time which is what drives the pets away. Surprisingly Lucifer tolerates it better than Glory.

Our little miss will eat nearly everything and has at least three solid meals a day. When she is finished she will try to lift her plate and if I am not right there it will be on the floor for Glory in a heartbeat. She loves leaning over the highchair to watch Glory eat the food on the floor. The only things Viv seems to dislike are plain tomatoes, mushrooms and swiss cheese. Her favorites all include meat. She will pick out the meat and eat it before everything else. We cannot give fruit until the end of a meal because she won’t eat anything else after it - she could eat fruit all day long. If Viv gets something she wasn’t trying to get in her mouth she will simply spit it out which can be quite messy and funny.

We have a pretty predictable schedule of waking around 7-8am, nap two hours later for about 1.5 hrs then another nap around 3pm and bed around 7pm. She sleeps well through the night but will wake to talk to herself every once in a while. She chit chats about her plans for the day then goes back to bed without complaint and doesn’t require any attention from Tyler or me.

Besides chatting in the middle of the night she will talk and talk and talk if she gets herself going. Usually she talks to herself or other things but sometimes she directs her conversation at us. In fact she does say with purpose “mamamamama” and “dadadadadada” as well as “nigh nigh nigh nigh.” Obviously mama and dada are self explanatory and “nigh nigh” she picked up from me saying “Let’s go night night” for naps and bed. We’ve figured out that it has two meanings - tired or hungry. Since I’ve transitioned to nursing before nap and bed only (in addition to morning wake up) she connected “night night” to nursing or sleep. Such a clever girl.

Speaking of nursing, we’ve had to start some formula in addition to breastmilk. My supply has taken a huge hit and has not been able to recover despite my various attempts. I can only get about an ounce total no matter how frequently or infrequently I pump or nurse. So enter formula on October 11th at exactly 10 months out. I’ve had to come to peace with it but still will pump if I miss a nursing session and before bed. I’m glad I’ve been able to make it this far and will try to provide as much breastmilk as possible for as long as possible.

Anyway, I cannot wait to see what the next month has in store for Little Miss Vivian.

October 7, 2013

Last weekend - no, not the one that just finished yesterday, I am a week behind yet again - Tyler, Viv and I went car shopping. If you’ve read my blog in the past few years you know this is not my favorite activity. I’ve had two Santa Fe’s in the last three years and they have been great but it was time for something else.

So last Saturday Tyler and I had some spare time around a friend’s birthday party so we headed to a few dealerships - Hyundai, Subaru and Mazda. We test drove a few cars and at the end of the day decided that we were going to be getting a Mazda CX-5.

My Sunday morning was spent on the phone negotiating prices for our new SUV and finally we got the price we were happy with and after Vivian’s nap we headed to Walker’s Renton Mazda to pick up my new ride!

Even though all the negotiations were done over the phone we had to wait around because everyone and their grandmother decided to go car shopping that day. We spent nearly four hours sitting. And sitting. And sitting.

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Finally ours after nearly 4 hours!!!

Viv was amazing both days. She actually held up and didn’t complain much at all. I probably complained more than her since car shopping is miserable.

But now I am the proud leasee (for 3 years) of a beautiful new sky blue 2014 Mazda CX-5 with all the bells and whistles (my first grown-up car!!!) which we will proudly call Lil Blue.

I am loving our newest little family member!

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Lil Blue with her big sister, Big Blue - who was being packed for
our weekend away (details to come!)

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October 7, 2013

Practicing walking!

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October 3, 2013
First cold weather walk requiring hat and mittens!

First cold weather walk requiring hat and mittens!

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